Thursday, August 12, 2010


What really makes one selfish? You can look around and see tons of selfish people.

Everyone wants the killer deal at the store. If its the last one? People will run to snag it before the next person can get it.

Driving down the road. Everyone wants to get to where they are going as fast as possible. It doesnt matter if they have to cut you off to get there - they care only about themselves.

But when it comes to having kids, you cant be concerned about only yourself. There is someone else to worry about. Someone who needs you all of the time. Diapers to be changed. Food to eat. Just overall love and comfort. But it doesnt stop once they are potty trained and know all of your 'secret' hiding places for snacks.

How do you find that balance? Jim and I have said one of the reasons we dont want kids yet is that we are too selfish.

I dont want to give up my weekends away from home where I have nothing to worry about. I dont want to give up the last minute invitations to go out. I dont want to be on someone else's time schedule. Heck, most days I dont even want to get out of bed at all!

But sometime, that all has to end. I have been told that the love for your baby helps you get past all of that. I know that a child can brighten your day. But can I really give up all of my time for someone else?

Is it really possible to put yourself second all of the time? I see friends who are having crazy issues with their children. Three year olds who like to hit. Fifteen year olds who thrive on drama - and its impossible to know if they are telling you the truth or not. But somehow you have to do for them what they cant. You have to teach the 3 year old not to hit. You have to ignore the drama no matter how much you want to scream obscenities!

Where do you draw the line? How do you balance it all out? Right now I dont have to take care of anyone but me, and even that is often too much!!!

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